Pregnancy is an incredible journey. One that is unpredictable. It is a road that is full of twist and turns. The destination is always the same but the path is different for every woman. For some women it is very difficult to conceive and for others it comes very easily. Some women can not have a baby at all. For myself, I thought that was  going to be the case. I had been with my partner for a long time and did not think I could have a baby. To my surprise, one day I started to feel a little different. I wasn’t feeling myself.. From there everything changed. Here is my birth story. The way Oliver came into this world.

It begins with that stick. The stick you pee on. It shows the plus sign. It has been confirmed. You are pregnant. The news in itself is so over whelming. I am not young, but I am not old. So to me the news was a bit up and down. That’s the best way I can describe it. I was not sure if I was ready for this but then I thought to myself who is ever really ready for this journey.

My partner and I had a very long discussion about it, Obviously, And concluded that there was no discussion. Oliver was to come into this world. It was his fate.

Now, women love to plan out what will happen during their pregnancy, and for myself there was no exception. I have two sisters and I had seen the way they brought their babies into the world. I was determined to do the opposite of what they did. My sisters both had hospital births. One had all vaginal births and the other had all C-section births. For some reason I never felt comfortable about the way they birthed. It didn’t feel right. So I wanted my child to come into this world as naturally as possible. No drugs! No hospital! I opted for a water birth at a birthing center.

For those of you who are not familiar with a water birth, it is when a woman labors and gives birth in what looks like a kiddy pool. A birthing center is a place similar to your home where you can labor and birth. All this without any drugs.

I went to work. I did a bunch of research and I became an expert on all that is birth. Natural births, hospital births, birthing center births, baby friendly hospitals. I learned what a midwife was, and a dula. I learned the difference between a midwife and an OB/GYN. As I did all my research I started to realize something. Why wasn’t I educated about any of this!? I felt so naive. Especially as a woman. I am made to birth. I had witnessed my sisters birth five boys between the two of them. As a kid you’re not supposed to learn to birth because frankly you don’t need to know about that sorta stuff yet, But there are so many things I still did not know. I even after asking different mothers about birth. I still I felt like I did not receive all the answers. I felt like women should know this information before they even start to consider having children. And by information, what I mean is about themselves and their body’s. Kinda like when you first start to menstruate. Woman don’t talk about birth enough and what happens with your body. We never bring up what our body’s are capable of.

Many women are afraid to birth and I feel like that’s because of the lank of information we are given on the topic.

We watch movies, shows, and even some educational videos that depict birth in the same negative way. A woman screaming at the top of her lungs in pain, And though birth is painful, there are many ways to coupe with that pain, and coupe with it naturally.

Okay! Enough with my rants. I’ll let this encourage you to do your own research on birthing. I’ll end my rant with this.

If you are a woman and you’re reading this, please understand that our body’s were made to birth. So do not let any doctor tell you that you can not. We are more than capable of it. We have been doing it since the beginning of time. And frankly I think it’s time we come back to those roots. If it’s your first child and you are healthy you do not need to birth in a hospital. You have options! Look into them. A C-section should be your last option, always, not your first. Unless you want to birth that way and there are complications. It is also important to understand that every woman is different and will birth differently. My point is, you have options. There isn’t only one way to birth. Done!

Back to my story.

So I did my research and I was feeling strongly about my natural birth with all the new information I had acquired. My first few appointments were with an OB/GYN. I told them I was going to do a natural birth, that I was just there to get my blood work and make sure everything was fine with me and the baby. I told them that I was still in the processes of looking for a birthing center. Each doctor looked at me as if I were crazy. They were all very discouraging  and said the same thing… “You are healthy enough to birth but the risks are high with those types of births.

Still those doctors did not scare me. For me, a hospital birth was out of the question. I looked for a birthing center. I looked to see if my insurance would cover me. I did everything in order to not give birth in a hospital. I was successfully taking the steps toward the birth I wanted.

Every thing began to fall into place. I found a birthing center. I started to meet with my mid wife. I found a dula. I attended all my birthing classes, which I highly recommend. For new moms and senior moms as well. I had the support of my family and my partner. Even though they thought I was crazy to do it. I was ready to go.

For my type of birth only two ultrasounds are done. I saw my baby twice through out my pregnancy and found out the gender on the second ultrasound.

I had the normal mood swings any pregnant woman has. I felt myself change completely. Emotionally that is. I would have to say that the most difficult part of pregnancy for me was feeling myself change from the inside. Things that would never bother me did. I would get angry easily. I would cry over silly things that were important to me at the time. I couldn’t stay home alone with my mind because it would go in every direction. It was terrible the lack of control that I had for my own emotions. Thankfully I had my job. Work kept my mind busy and it was a little easier to deal with my emotions. I also worked on preparing myself mentally for birth. I did not really know what to expect.

In my classes they told me that it can go any way, and that I may end up at the hospital if there was any type of emergency. They told me that many women get sad because their birth did not end up the way they wanted. So I mentally prepared myself for that as well.

During my pregnancy I kept myself busy. I worked two jobs, took birthing classes and went on mommy to be dates. So the days went by very quickly. Next thing I knew it was time for me to take off work and start preparing for birth. Soon enough I started to feel the small contractions. I handled those like a pro.

My partner decided that it would be best if we moved before the baby arrived. Of course we waited until the last minute to move. We moved a week before I began to labor. We had a false alarm a few days after finally settling in. We traveled all the way to the birthing center then got sent home. A day later my water broke and we were back at the birthing center.

I labored for a day and a half. No drugs. Just contraction after contraction. Since my partner and I decided that we would not tell anyone when I was laboring, we endured everything single obstacle of labor by ourselves. After so many hours my midwife began to get concerned about the time. I was dilating to slowly and my water had been broken for to long now. The baby was in danger of infection. So my midwife tried to speed up the process naturally. She gave essential oils. I was ordered to do squats and walk, walk, walk. Still nothing was helping. I was continuing to open up to slowly. I was so tired. Between all the walking, squats, and contractions i just could not do any more. I sat down in a chair and stopped anything all together. I was just getting through my contractions at this point. My midwife decided it was time I went to the hospital.

The thing I was to trying to avoid at all cost was going to happen. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I got upset. But I didn’t. I remained calm. At this point what I wanted was for Oliver to come into this world, and to come into this world safely. So we went to the hospital. By the time I arrived to the hospital I was physically exhausted. I asked for drugs only to eases my back which was now tensing up so bad that it was difficult for me to breath. What they gave me eased my mussels and helped me sleep but I still went through my contractions and was feeling it all.

I got a bit of rest, and the nurses checked if I was dilating. Nothing. So they asked if I wanted to use Pitocin. This is a drug that would help me open up more. I gave them the okay.

It did not help. My body gave up on me. I was no longer opening up. More hours passed and nothing was happening. The doctor came in and gave me an ultimatum. I needed to do a c-section or risk the baby getting an infection inside because my water was still broken. I told the doctor to give my partner and I a moment to decide.

This is when I got upset. I cried and called my sister for advice. She told me not to worry and to do what was best for the baby. My partner and I agreed and felt like it was the best thing to do to get Oliver here safely.

The doctor came back in and we tell him our decision. The nurses immediately go into action. They give me the epidural, and send me off into surgery. Next thing I know Oliver is in my arms.

So in the end, exactly what I didn’t want to happen came to be. My birth plan was a little off. Some things that I planned for my birth did get to happen but I did not get the exact birth I wanted. In the end what was important to me was that Oliver and I were safe. plus, when I held Oliver in my arms nothing else mattered.

It was a difficult road to Oliver but I would not trade the experience for another because the end result was him.

It was all a great lesson. We can plan but sometimes things do not go as we plan. And even if they do not go as planned the end result is still amazing. The path to it was a bit different than anticipated but we got there and it was better than expected.