At first, I couldn’t find myself to write anything about the topic because I am so annoyed with the whole idea. I don’t want to dwell on this. I’m just looking for the finish line. I’m just looking for solutions. Frankly, none of this is my fault. I didn’t choose this…

Then a close friend asked me to write something about how this quarantine has affected me… I knew then, I needed to do this.

As a single momma, small business owner, and someone who is now unemployed… I felt it was my duty, of course.

Two weeks into the quarantine, before my friend reached out, I was feeling very inspired and began a photo project of my own. When my computer didn’t read my SD card I went into a place of discouragement and went down a rabbit hole. I believe my friend reaching out was divine intervention, but I was still having a lot trouble sparking inspiration…

With all the new free time I had on my hands, I began to go through my own Instagram and it finally gave me the spark I needed to finally write these words… Nothing like inspiring yourself with your past self.

As I went through my Instagram and looked through older photos I got a sense of what I have already over come. After that, thoughts started to bubble up like boiling water. Here’s what came up.

Yes! These are difficult times. I’m a single mom with a child. I own a small business, and worked part-time. In a matter of 24 hours I lost my part-time job. Not to mention on my birthday… I definitely will never forget that day. March 16th 2020. Everything changed. I could no longer go out to open my business at the local Farmer’s Market. I no longer had an income. I could no longer pay my bills. In just a span of 24 hours all of this happened. How was I going to feed my child now? How will I pay my rent? How will I pay ALL my bills and my debts that I was working so hard to pay off. Everything just felt like a total loss. I was angry. I was sad. Everything I was working so hard for had to stop. I felt like the world was crashing down. Literally like the world was ending. I wanted to so badly revert to a dark place but then I realized everyone around me was experiencing the exact same thing. In my mind it felt like a scene from the movie “Bird Box”. The one in the beginning when everyone was loosing their minds all at the same time. People were being affected by whatever “it” was and killing themselves. It was a scary thought that this was literally close to what was happening in real life. I needed to stop, regroup my thoughts, or my son and I would not survive this…

As I was going through my Instagram to find inspiration, I went back to a photo of when Oliver was only 3 months old and we were going through hurricane Irma together. I remembered my thoughts during that time. It was all coming back to me. The same fears that crept in then crept in this time too… and even then my first thoughts were… All of these events are out of my control. How can I get through this?

I began to read through the caption I wrote… it read… “Life is so unpredictable. No matter how much we want to plan it out. Life always takes its own direction.”

Wow! I was relating to MYSELF. I just laid there in the dark letting my own words sink in. I paused in deep thought. Then I continued to read…

“He never knew what was going on. And Irma helped me realize that I would do anything and everything to keep this little guy out of harms way.”

The words sunk in…

So many thoughts going through my mind, And even with all the feelings, for some reason I couldn’t help but lean on the only thing I knew to lean on. Hope and my faith. Not only am I a major optimist but I also believe in God. Everything that has helped me over come difficulties in my past comes from that. These times are no different. Things may never get back to normal. I understand this, but there is also one thing in my life that never changes. God and my faith has always remained consistent in my life no matter the hardship.

Now, I am aware that some who are reading this may not believe in God or that there is a God at all, but you see, this is what has helped me in theses times. My faith. If you ask me how I’ve gotten through this so calmly, this would be my response.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but think about that time. What I did to move my son out of harms way. How I reacted. And though it was difficult I never regret one second of it because I knew I was doing it to protect my son. Then I imagined this is how God must see me in this situation.

This picture came to my mind as I laid there in the dark thinking about past events that were so similar to this one. God sees me as his child. He will move mountains to get me out of harms way.

As we all know, Children have no clue about the severity of this whole pandemic. They don’t understand the financial concerns, the increase in unemployment, or how they will eat that day. They just think they’re stuck at home and they trust that we will provide for them. They trust fully in their caretakers. They just follow our lead and let us take on their burdens.

This is how I felt God sees me. As his child. I needed to be still and just trust in my creator.

This revelation sat on my heart. This immense amount of peace came over me. Even up to this point Oliver and I have had everything we need.

Whenever I start to worry about what’s next. God gives me this immense sense of reassurance and peace. My problems have literally solved themselves.

There is a verse in the Bible that says

“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

‭‭Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

And this is so true. What can I gain with worry or fear??

Oliver and I have been living out this pandemic day by day. At home of course! Yes, we have a schedule and a new routine now. It seems a bit strange, but I am still remaining hopeful and positive. I’ve had way more time do things I had no time to do before. I have put my complete focus on my small business and am using this pause wisely to help me push forward when all this is over. I was inspired to do a new art project, and I have been able to spend more time with my son and begin to home school him myself.

I know that many are taking this pandemic in many different ways. I understand that many people have lost loved ones or are working crazy amounts of hours. I know there are numbers of increasing cases and deaths. I know many are still unemployed, myself included. I have no clue what is going to happen on the other side of this, but I can’t help but to lean on hope.

I believe that although Covid-19 took many things away from us, this pandemic did NOT take away our ability to adapt to change, and to pivot. It could NOT take our creativity, our passion, our joy, our faith, and our hope! It did NOT take our energy and willingness to over come. So we all wait in peace until this storm is over. And with all the new found time we have, we plan, and grow NEW ideas for the other side of this. WE WILL REBUILD and come through this stronger than ever.