The only way I can describe how I’m feeling about my life recently is to give you the picture of my inner most feelings the way God gave them to me. God revealed this to me in a dream.

In the dream all that I could see was the vast ocean. I can see how it seems infinite, and no where around me did I see any form of land. No form of salvation if you will. In my mind I could feel exactly how unending and how vast the ocean is, and as I’m sensing all of this I begin to realize that I myself am in the ocean, and that I am gasping for air. I realize that I am nearly to the point of no return and that with every breath I take I also realize that it could be my last. Then all of a sudden, right when I feel myself giving up a hand grabs on to mine and pulls me out of the water so effortlessly. When I reach the surface I immediately recognize who it is that has saved me. It was Jesus. But I could not see his face. I only knew that it was him. He spoke to me and comforted me, never asking how I got in the water or why I started drowning. The only thing I could do was lower my head. I did not say a word. As my head was lowered I realized that I was in a small boat made of wood. When I realized this Jesus lifted my head up with his hand. He asked me to look at him. He then wrapped a blanket around me. I did not take my eyes off of him. He told me then to focus on him and him alone. He told me that he had to teach me how to rescue others. Immediately following those very words I took my eyes off of him. When I looked around me I began to see people appearing in the water one by one. They were all drowning. Hundreds and hundreds of people. I began to panic. I told my self I needed to help these people. I am in a boat and they are not. They will die if I do not rescue them. I asked myself why did Jesus only rescue me, and why was he so concerned with teaching me to do what he did for me? Could he not just do the same for all the others? Then at that very moment Jesus grabbed my face with both hands and said, “Maryely look at me. I still need to tech you how to go out into the waters.” I suddenly felt and over whelming peace. I focused on him and I felt myself become stronger. I then knew what I needed to do and I knew exactly how to do it. Jesus then let go of my face and allowed me to look out into the water again. When I looked out again I saw the people drowning but this time I did not panic. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I needed to jump in the water. I needed to go out and bring people into my boat. Right then, I turned around to Jesus for reassurance but when I did, he was gone. I was now on the boat all alone. I was shocked. I noticed that I still had my blanket on. I took off my blanket and I just stared out into the waters. I stared, and stared for hours but I could not do anything. The same thought running through my head over and over. What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do? But I knew. I knew exactly what he would do. I did not do it. I saw all around me different faces go down, of no one I knew in particular. I saw people taking their last breath. No one was screaming for help, and no one begged me to get on the boat, everyone just continued to drown. So I continued to stare. I thought about my boat and what Jesus did for me when I was drowning. I kept thinking about what he did for me. I was so focused on that thought. Then suddenly the people began to disappear from the water and I put my blanket back on. I only thought about my Jesus, my boat and my safety. I hugged my knees with the blanket around me and everything became so silent. A silence I have never heard before. Then I woke up.

Then Jesus came to me again but this time while I was already awake. I was still in bed filled with an overwhelming peace. I believed this peace was the holy spirt. I asked, “Why? Why did I have this dream?” Then the Holy spirt allowed me to hear Jesus’s voice. He began to explain it to me. Jesus told me, “It is very simple Maryely. You were drowning and I have saved you. I have taken you out of the waters. To give you wisdom. For a time you were not ready, but you kept your eyes on me. I then gave you even more wisdom which made you strong. Then you were ready. I showed you what you needed to do for me. You needed to rescue others and tell them the story of how I rescued you. It needed to be people that you do not know.” Then Jesus asked me a question. “What happened Maryely?” I answered back, “I do not know. You were gone. Where were you? You could have helped me.” Jesus then answered me, “I was there. I pulled you out of the water. I kept you warm. I showed you love, and compassion. I gave you wisdom, and I gave you the boat so that you could stay above the waters. I am with you. But you had little faith, not in me but in yourself… You did not take your eyes of me, but you began to take your eyes off of the problem at hand. Instead you choice to hide in the safety of what I have given to you. The boat which represents the church, and The Holy Spirt which represented the blanket. You became paralyzed because you did not take action. You needed to jump in the water and help me pull people out. The water is the world. I am no longer in the world. So I left you with the blanket, so that when you pulled people out of the water you can wrap it around them and then surely they will see me and know me. Maryely you need to step out of the boat because I love those people that are drowning even though you do not know them and I want to save them like I have saved you. There is no time to hesitate or they will die. Do exactly what I did for you. You know what to do.

I then fell asleep again so peacefully.